Experiencing the Enhanced Baldur's Gate

 31 July 2019  |   1 August 2019

We move from one tree to the other, carefully glancing towards the ever so black fog of war. Imoen investigates things for us, while we prepare for the inevitable. Then, a sudden scream. Our friend is in sudden need of help! To battle! Or, as the more evil aligned main protagonist would say, ‘Oh well. Imoen had it coming. At least she can stop saying “good on you if you save the day” now. Let’s go guys. Now, where do I recruit another thief, that doesn’t mind a good backstab or two?’

After a short trip to Beregost, we come across a shady looking figure that offers us to pay a royal amount of gold coins, provided we escort a young lady and protect her from two attacking buffoons, who are madly in love with her. Careful investigation reveals the lady was crazy, and not the guys chasing after her. So we killed her. No wait, she killed us. We reloaded, and then she killed us again. And again. And again. After quaffing a potion or six, and meticulous planning, we were able to behead the crazy bitch, before she could launch a lightning bolt towards our asses. Pfew. The shady figure shrugs, says “oh well, I expected that”, and asks to join us. We welcome Garrick with open arms.

That was a decision we regretted after a few more fistfights in the woods. When things get tough, Brave Garrick the Great gets goin’. Instead of jamming his harp and calling forth dangerous spells, the coward runs for shelter like a little boy! Luckily, we managed to train and harden our beloved Chaotic-aligned bard, making him a well-rounded asset in our team of killers. It took us a while though. He kept on yearning for this super expensive crossbow that was displayed in the window of the blacksmith in Beregost. We paid the cash and let him have it. Now Garrick enjoys shooting lightning-enhanced bolts at greater ghouls, and we enjoy Garrick.

However, he is usually the second to die when not hanging in the back. Jaheira is probably the first. Instead of mourning her dead husband, she stays ‘dead’ silent. The couple from the Friendly Arm Inn looked cute to us, and we were in dire need of help, so we took them in, or they took us in. But Khalid happened to be a crybaby, and we can’t stand those anymore now, can we? Right, Garrick? K-k-khalid also g-g-ot what he deserved. By simpling sending him into the fray without any armor on, the guy died silently. We grieved for about a second or two, looted his corpse, and spit on it. “Now, Jaheira, you’re given a choice. Join us, use your druidic skills, or also dy trying. What do you say?” As she didn’t say anything, we figured she would be willing to try.

Mother nature awaits. But, the Omnipresent Authority Figure is always looking to tell others what to do. And perhaps this group does not need as much help as she think it would. As these phrases are among the favorites of Jaheira’s things to say, most party members need to resist the urge to bash in her head, as we did with her husband. At least she can heal some wounds and cast Summon Insects and Call Woodbeing. And Since Dimitrius, our great leader, is looking for “multi-talented people”, he has a soft spot for multi- and dualclassed people like her. Dimitrius himself is an adept Berseker, planning to go rogue by classing into a mage at level 9. That is, when we ever get to finish the first party of this ever lasting Baldur’s Gate story. Yeslick (fighter/cleric), Coran (fighter/thief), Jaheira (fighter/druid) - all interesting party members capable of dishing out damage in more than one way. Add Neera for the french kisses and we’re all set.

While wandering around, our party discovers and finds… most of the time nothing. The in-between spaces of Baldur’s Gate are surprisingly empty, but there is always at least something to do beyond the fog of war, even if it is killing Ankhegs, saying “yes dear farmer, your sun is dead, now shut it!”, and blasting fireballs against a group of sorry ass bandits. The woods serve as a short trip, for adventurers like us, as a short break, before hitting pure stone walls like Durlag’s Tower. The massive tower does not look impressive. “Let’s loot the place!” Coran says. Jaheira, as usual, says nothing. Is she thinking about Khalid? Luckily, Dimitrius does not care: he yells “forwards!”, and forwards we go.

Until we land on a cloudkill trap, and have to reload. Whoops. “Coran, could you possibly, you know, use your keen eye and find the goddamn traps?”. “I can dance on the head of a pin, as well!” - oh wait, that was Yoshimo, another beloved thief that ended in a tragedy. As Coran’s thieving abilities are not up to snuff compared to Imoen’s (thanks to multiclassing), we have to rely on potions. Some fireball traps are unable to avoid. “Hey, I have like, a great idea, haha. Or whatever. Can we maybe cast, you know, protection of Fire?” Great idea Neera, go ahead. Wild surge: protection from Ice. What the hell? “Oh erm, that was what you wanted, right? Shall I try Again?” Yes, please. Manus, Potentis, Paro. Wild surge: a cow drops from the heavens and kills Yeslick. Why, Neera, why? “Well I was an abused child and never really got to learn stuff propertly…” Okay, that makes sense. This romance seems to get along nicely, so let’s abuse each other right now. “Okay!”. Jaheira says silent. Maybe she’s preparing to be jealous in BG2.

In the end, we managed to kill some kind of stupid looking Demon Knight, who is said to be the most dangerous thing in the game. Guess again: our party is. The guy didn’t even put up a fight: after a few nice snipe shots from Coran, a hasted berseked dual wielding Dimitrius, and a few spells from my lover, things were over pretty quickly. The stupid mirror wasn’t even touched. However, we were not quite prepared for the Soultaker dagger quest, were we. We took the thing up North, but cult members came after it and demanded it’s return. Dimitrius responds, as usual, “fuck off”, and fuck they did. The fucked us up pretty well. Backstabbing cult members instantly killed Coran and Neera, almost followed by Garrick, who spills the beans. Reload. Jam on space, cast haste, confusion, holy smite, skull trap. Neera’s trap kills two innocent boys, a cow and a chicken. Reload. Backstabbed again. Reload. Arrgh!

“Say, why don’t we Mirror Image, then the thieves can target an image, and we still have time to run?” “Good call, Garrick. Should I cast chaos shield?” asks Neera. “NOOO!” yells everybody. “Uhm, okay, like, whatever.” A few more haste, confusion, call lightning, and other things later, we managed to break up the attacking group and kill them one by one. Well actually, Garrick discharged quite a lot of fireballs from his wand, and Dimitrius could handle the heat, so no big deal. A few finishing arrows later, the members got slaughtered. Time to quicksave. And repeat this procedure at the entrance of the cult house. And again, in the guild hall. And again, in the basement. “From hereforth, I should call myself Demon Killer, instead of Dimitrius!” says my guy, pumping his flaming sword +x into the sky.

Time to rest, let’s look for a tavern. And no Coran, let’s stay within our room, last time you were caught sneaking around and opening other people’s drawers, we had to kill a few Flaming Fist guards, and people did not handle it that well, remember? “Oh yeah, our reputation is quite low, do something about it or I might leave!” But you did that yourself! “No, you made me to!” Okay, that is correct. I should not have picked Neutral Good as my alignment, as I am clearly more Chaotic Neutral or even Evil-aligned. I wish we could drag Edwin along, but as I’m fucking Neera, things are ‘wild’ enough already. “Show me your wares!” demands the bartender. “I’ll show you something… What about my spider’s bane +2? Nice and shiny.” No two-handed sword wielders here, so here, gimme al your money.

You must gather your wits to venture forth. We became quite powerful, gathering a lot of cool equipment from Durlag and co. It is time to walk past the big bridge and enter Baldur’s Gate itself. Time to finish things, let’s find that other Bhaalspawn and end him. “That will be quite easy to do, since I’m the Demon Killer.” grins Dimitrius. Right you are…